Respect Your Local Meat Shield.

I saw this post on a friends facebook status update today:

"(I) can't believe the military still has the "don't ask, don't tell" rule. Thank you for showing the world how incompetent and backwards you are. But then again I suppose little can be expected from people who willingly sign up to be human meat shields."

It annoyed me. Twice.

First, because of the statement's total lack of respect for our troops. The author needs to be reminded that these "human meat shields" are responsible for her freedom to post this disparaging remark.

What is expected from people who willingly sign up? In a word, everything. War is hell. Literally. I agree that not all wars should be...some need to be. You just can't reason with some people who are bound and determined to enforce their philosophy on others.

Soldiers don't make policy. They enforce it. Thank them for your freedom.

Secondly, the policy that needs changing is the (US's) policy of no gays in the military, not the don't ask don't tell policy. In fact it is no one's business what anyone's sexual orientation is...you should not ask and I should not tell, it's personal and has no bearing on the military or any other facet of public life.

NASA - NASA Sets News Conference on Astrobiology Discovery; Science Journal Has Embargoed Details Until 2 p.m. EST On Dec. 2

NASA - NASA Sets News Conference on Astrobiology Discovery; Science Journal Has Embargoed Details Until 2 p.m. EST On Dec. 2: "NASA Sets News Conference on Astrobiology Discover"

Movie Review: Restrepo

If you are a fan of war movies and liked the movie "Hurt Locker", "Restrepo" puts you right on the frontlines and impacts you in a way you won't soon forget what you've seen. It is most certainly recommended viewing. A gritty and visceral look at the men of Second Platoon of Battle Company, 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, "Restrepo" takes you deep into what CNN called "...the most dangerous place on earth...", the Korengal Valley in Afghanistan. If this sounds familiar, it should. That is where Sergeant Salvatore Giunta was posted when his actions earned him the US Medal of Honor. The film is the closest look at real combat I've ever seen, showing the raw emotions of the soldier on the ground, no special effects, no script and no agenda. The camera is treated like a comrade not an intruder and when the gunfire starts you are right there with them, wondering where it's coming from.

5 out of 5

Nov. 29, 1972: Pong, a Game Any Drunk Can Play | This Day In Tech | Wired.com

Nov. 29, 1972: Pong, a Game Any Drunk Can Play | This Day In Tech | Wired.com: "Nov. 29, 1972: Pong, a Game Any Drunk Can Play"

`12 Days of Christmas' items' cost nears $100,000 - Yahoo! News

It wouldn't be the Christmas Season® without the obligatory "cost of the items in the 12 Days of Christmas" article. Costs are up over 10% from last year at just under $100,000 because homeless people ate all the partridges...Fark.

`12 Days of Christmas' items' cost nears $100,000 - Yahoo! News

St. Paul bar pulls controversial 'drink like an Indian' campaign - TwinCities.com

St. Paul bar pulls controversial 'drink like an Indian' campaign - TwinCities.com

A Night in the Life

Slow night at the club, so I am blogging. Just stream of consciousness stuff, like why do people request songs then dance for sixty seconds or so and walk off the dance floor texting? Or wait until the song has like thirty seconds left before they get up and dance?

That girl on the dance floor, that one over there, told me earlier that she just wants to get laid tonight and I'm wondering if that guy she's dancing with knows this. Hmm, he must not be capturing her attention, she just walked off the dance floor texting. Two minutes have passed, she's on the dance floor again, grinding to Salt n' Pepa's "Let's Talk About Sex"...I wonder if I play "Pony" what she'll do. Let's try....she's got no rhythm but still providing him a full on ass grind.

Here's another question...why do you request the same song over and over at a club?

Granted, Serani's "No Games" is a good tune but if you want to listen to it over and over and over get a friggin' Ipod.

Ok now I've got two blackout drunk fags making out on the floor, don't misunderstand, I have nothing against "flexisexuals" but please...if I wanted to see Freddy Mercury tongue kissing John Madden, I'd be googling gay porn. Pass the eye bleach.

Girl runs up to the DJ booth, asks me, "Do you have a garbage can?" as she pulls her gum out of her mouth, "Sorry, no.", I reply. She holds her gum out in her outstretched hand, apparently expecting me to take it from her, I shake my head and she walks away. In the background Freddie and John are getting thrown out and I can see a guy over there that has decided to "go ugly early". But...looking at him I'm thinking, "Trust me, dude, GO UGLY EARLY, or you'll die alone with your pants around your ankles, clutching your shriveled dick in your cold, dead hand"

Another random comes up to the booth, she's been here all night, and requests a song that I played five minutes ago. Better I guess than the last one who requested the song that was currently playing. I tell her I may play it again later so she requests another and sits with her fat ass securely planted in her chair when I play it. It's called a dance club for a reason.

Another episode of short attention span theater, this girl has been asking for "Like a G6" all night so I threw it in the mix for her...hit the dance floor for like thirty five seconds and walked off texting. I want to put a cell phone jammer in here. Is it just me or does it show a little social ineptitude to be out with your friends and ignore them while staring into a 2.5" screen? A snapshot of the club right now shows 35% of the people are doing it.

Madden is back and he brought Freddy back with him...how did they get back in? John is hitting on the fat ass random chick now and the other half of the "Village People" doesn't look too pleased with him.

Fat ass turfs Madden comes over to make another request, I play it right away and she bops to it all the way to the door...fat bitch is going for a smoke...I should stop the song 'til she gets back.

Blackout Freddy is mackin' on a girl now too and she is having none of it...take the hint buddy or you will be leaving the hard fast way.

I've stopped playing requests now...f*ck'em...when I play what they want they aren't dancing but when I play what I know they are...throw down a little Mary J. Blige and instant dance floor. Here comes a request...I'm looking at a full dance floor and she says, "Play something we can dance to, you know, something with a beat.". You have got to be kidding, but I know she's not, I hear that one just about every night.

Nice...Freddy and Johnny kissed and made up. Get laid girl...did. Looks like go ugly guy is making out quite well. Fat bitch is eating deep fried pork.

Happy endings all around.

Are You a Slut?

I found it interesting that my last post, "How to Identify a Slut", received twice as many pageviews in its first hour of life than any of my posts on the environment has, ever. It's true...sex sells...please click our advertisers lol.

That said, that post got me thinking...according to a recent study the median number of sex partners for North American women is 3(!). The average is 8.6.

This means that there is a group of super slutty women, let’s call them “girls who live in the big blue coastal cities and work in marketing or PR”, who are shifting the average higher for all women.

By these numbers, it is fair to conclude that a woman who has had more than the median number of partners is a candidate for slut designation, and the higher her number the sluttier she is.

Where do you fall?

0 lifetime partners: Sweet virginal manna. A bit weird, but you’re confident you’ll break her in.

3 lifetime partners: Typical woman. Wife and mother of your children material.

10 lifetime partners: Above average. Proceed with caution.

15 lifetime partners: Well above average. Be dominant or she’ll cheat.

25 lifetime partners: A whole lot. Use her and lose her. 100 lifetime partners: Stopwatch material. You wonder how fast you can get her from “Hi” to “Spread your ass cheeks, I’m going in”.

How to Identify a Slut.

Reprinted from Craigslist- Author is an unknown hero.

For some strange reason, men like to insult women by calling them sluts. This is a horribly ill-advised policy; by making sluttiness something shameful, all sorts of libido-blazing women are refraining from casual sexual encounters with strangers. And we wouldn’t want that, would we? So knock it off guys—the next would-be slut you mock might keep her knees clenched at the next office party when I hit on her. Stop ruining it for the rest of us!

Now that we’ve settled slut-bashing, let’s move on to slut-evaluation. We all know that sluts are a lot of fun… but how do you identify the slut from the prude or the cock-tease? At nightclubs and pickup bars, a guy could throw hundreds of dollars down the crapper by buying flowers and drinks for a prude and get nowhere—but just one shot of tequila could induce a slut to strip naked and hop into the backseat of your 1979 Trans Am. Quickly identifying sluts is not only desirable; it’s financially essential—particularly in today’s troubled economic times. An inaccurate diagnostic evaluation of slutdom costs time and money.

Fortunately for you able-bodied blokes out there, the research wing of the Last Story media empire has devoted a great deal of our resources to studying the intricacies of slutdom. And we’ve developed some quick hit-lists that can help guys (and gals, who might be bi or gay) spot a slut almost immediately. Simply print out the bottom half of this article and carry it with you the next time you’re at a nightclub—and consult as needed.

Slut Hint One: Watch the Eyes, Not the Clothes

It’s a well know fact that sluts wear tight, skimpy outfits. Unfortunately, so do virginal cock-teases. So rather than flocking to the shortest skirt in the nightclub, it’s crucial to examine the eyes of each woman—even when that means you must stop staring at her tits for half-a-second. A virginal cock-tease will watch your mouth when you talk, listening to each word and hoping to make witty, flirtatious comments. A true slut won’t hang on every syllable coming out of your mouth. She will, however, stare at your eyes, your arms and your… ahem, other parts.

Slut Hint Two: Watch the Bar, Not the Dance Floor

Chics that go to church every Sunday, wear white cotton panties, and wouldn’t DARE kiss on the first date will dash over to the dance floor and gyrate in a decidedly sexual nature. Folks, this is nothing but a facade—a vicious attempt to mimic sluthood. True sluts aren’t dancing in the middle of a nightclub with their female friends! They’re hanging out by the bar, sucking down booze, and enjoying male attention. The only dancing most sluts do is when they waltz down to the clinic to wipe out a pesky case of V.D.

Slut Hint Three: Watch the Guys, Not the Girls

Do you see four or more girls dancing and chatting amongst themselves? Well, leave ‘em alone! There’s not a slut in that group. Most women don’t like sluts and shun them from inclusion. Guys, on the other hand, dig sluts and will happily accompany ‘em out on the town. If you see one girl talking to three or more guys, there’s a fairly good chance she’s a slut. ‘Course, there’s also a fairly good chance she’s the girlfriend of one of those guys, so tread carefully, lest your face get punched.

Slut Hint Four: Watch the Lips, Not the Eyes

Good girls treat their face like it’s a work of art. And eyes, described by effeminate poets as “windows to our souls” get special attention. Sluts might apply a dash of eyeliner but generally pay much more attention to their lips. Do you know why? Lips are primary sexual features; eyes are secondary. In fact, lipstick was first used by prostitutes during the era of the Roman Empire in an effort to make their mouths look like vaginas. Bright red lips at a nightclub should definitely get your Spidey Sense tingling.

Slut Hint Five: Watch the Arguments, Not the Tranquility

When goody-goodies converge, there’s usually tranquility. Everyone giggles and makes catty comments in a happy little clique—without a care in the world! But when a slut enters their sheltered little existence, all sorts of fireworks ignite. Goody-goodies and sluts cannot coexist in harmony; sluts view goody-goodies as naive and spoiled while goody-goodies view sluts as boyfriend-stealers and immoral harlots. If you ever see two or more women arguing in a nightclub, chances are one of them is a slut.

Slut Hint Six: Watch the Piercings, Not the Makeup

It’s an unfortunate fact that goody-goodies and cock-teases plaster on as much makeup as many sluts. So how can you identify the different groups? Body piercings! Particularly any piercings of the tongue. Folks, do you know why women (and men) get studs drilled into their tongues? It’s to enhance fellatio. The feel of the cold metal stud on your penis increases the pleasure derived from oral sex. And this spells slutdom more than anything: Any woman willing to mutilate her body in the hopes of marginally enhancing the sexual pleasure of her partner is 99% likely to be a harcore slut. Nipple rings and clitoral piercings are also indicative of sluttiness… but by the time you’re in a position to see a nipple or clit ring, chances are you’ve already figured out she’s a slut.

Slut Hint Seven: Watch the Smoke, Not the Good Breath

Maybe it’s because of an oral fixation. Or maybe it’s because sluts are prone to high risk behavior. Either way, a higher percentage of sluts smoke than babes in the general population. If you see a chic with bright red lips, a shot of whiskey, and a tongue ring sucking on a Marlboro 100s, there’s a pretty good chance that she’s a slut.

Slut Hint Eight: Watch the Ink, Not the Flesh

Tattoos have gone mainstream; even Yuppie bankers are getting aboriginal art etched on their bodies. But still—a tattoo can be a key indicator of sluttiness. Particularly if it’s located along a rather tantalizing part of the anatomy. I know what you’re thinking: “Well, if she has a yin-yang tattooed on her ass cheek, how am I gonna find out about it at the nightclub?” Relax! Sluts are proud of all their bodily modifications. If you ask a slut if she has a tattoo, not only will she answer honestly—she’ll probably offer to show it to you. Sluts aren’t shy.

Slut Hint Nine: Watch the Tips, Not the Jiggle

A common rookie mistake when slut-watching is to stare like a pervert in need of Ritalin at any chic who walks by in a low-cut top that bares some cleavage. Remember: Cleavage alone does not mean slutdom! A good number of Preacher’s daughters and Young Republicans enjoy hitting the nightclubs, jiggling some cleavage, and teasing the boys. The true test of wanton sluthood lies a few inches below her cleavage. Sluts, you see, enjoy sex and lack sufficient moral fiber to turn down a romp in the sheets. The thought of sex excites them. So their nipples get hard! Sometimes their nipples get so hard, they can even be seen through a flannel shirt and a winter coat. If her two “girls” point at you—and you’re not located atop an Alaskan balcony—you’ve got a shot at pointing something of your back at her own later that night.

Slut Hint Ten: Watch the Hands, Not the T&A

I know, I know: When a woman walks by in a miniskirt and a tight blouse, your first instinct is to stare at her tits. And then, as she walks away, your second instinct is to stare at her ass. Refrain from these impulses, young Grasshopper! Since miniskirts and tight blouses are also wildly popular with prudes and cock-teases, they cannot be considered reliable indicators of slutdom. In fact, big breasts and a shapely ass are traits shared equally between sluts and nonsluts alike. So what’s a man to do? Check out her hands! Whenever a male chats with a prude, the prude tends to keep her hands by her side. But whenever a male saddle-up to a slut, her hands suddenly become nomadic wanderers of the African Sahara. It’s almost as if she can’t stop touching your arm and your chest while talking to you! This makes sense; people who like sex enjoy physical contact. And really, this might be the most telling indicator of slutdom: A chic with tattoos, cigarettes, red lips, a bellybutton ring, and a shot of whiskey who keeps her hands by her hips while conversing with a stranger is probably a SLUT POSER. But a babe who can’t stop touching you while yakking—even if she’s not wearing any makeup and her highlights aren’t on—just might be a slut. Either way, you should definitely offer to buy her a drink.

Cheers

Iraq: A Soldier's Eye View

A transcript of a motivational speech given by a US Sergeant to Iraqi police in training...see below or click here for the video. Language NSFW or children.

"We're gonna talk a little bit about how you are conducting yourselves as Iraqi police.

Raise your hand if you're in the Mahdi militia...let's see it, who's in the militia? Who has militia ties? Which one of you are more loyal to the militia than to your own country? None of you? Bullshit.
Some of you in this formation are fucking lying right now. You know why I'm pissed off? I come down here with my soldiers to try and train you and you're trying to kill Americans, you're trying to kill your fellow fucking Iraqis 'cause you got no fucking backbone.
You want everything from me. You want weapons and ammunition. You want fuel and you want trucks but you're too fucking pussy to go three kilometers down the fucking road and go get the people who are tearing this fucking town apart. That's pure fucking cowardice.
I'll take three goddamn trucks down the road any fucking day
(a noise is heard from one of the cops)...you think this is fucking funny!? You wanna call me out? You think it's fuckin' funny! Why don't I take you out back and kick your little fucking ass. You better shut the fuck up and fucking pay attention, I got not problems in beating any one of your asses...not one, because I don't give a fuck. Because you're acting like a bunch of fucking women.
I'm not gonna come down here and waste my fucking time or my soldiers' lives because you don't want to to shit.
You guys better figure out where your loyalties lie. Are you loyal to Iraq? Shia? Sunni? What is it? You wanna fight for your country? Or are you better off having me die for your country because you're too much of a woman to do it yourself. You love seeing Americans die for your fucking country but you won't die for it yourself. I don't see your ass in my hometown.
And your fucking leadership better get their heads out of their asses too. Lead from the fucking front. When was the last time you lead a patrol? Probably never. When was the last time you took these guys, lead these guys down toledge on a fucking patrol? You never did. Did you? Because you're too chicken shit.

Figure out what he fuck you want out of us or I'm going to stop coming down here. And when the Sunni's ledge come up up here and cut your fucking heads off, I'm not gonna do a goddamn thing about it. I'm gonna let them bomb your fucking asses to oblivion with their mortars because you will not do shit about it. I will not help people who will not help themselves. So get your heads out of this fucking bullshit Mahdi militia and start fighting for Iraq...you're Iraqi police...you sit here with your thumb up your ass like you're too fucking scared to do your job...any questions?"

Why Recycle? Keep the damn thing or throw it away.

I saw an ecoblog today listing ten things that most people don't know can't be recycled, like pizza boxes or wet contaminated paper of all sorts or coloured paper. I thought, "Finally, an environmentalist who gets it, I have permission to throw stuff in the trash.".

As I read on I was reminded of an experiment conducted in a typical southern California neighborhood about the sorting of trash for residential recycling because the article began to refer me to specialty recycling and disposal centers for the items that were on the list.

In the experiment, participants agreed that it would be best for the environment to sort their household trash into nine different coloured curbside bins. That's right. Nine.

I found that by dropping off items around town, scheduling a pickup for others and by mailing my deadly, mercury filled, CFL's in, I could sort my waste and get rid of almost all of without throwing anything away. Awesome. I can sleep tonight knowing that I can save the planet. Get real.

What is the overall impact on the environment if we trade the energy and waste that it takes to accomplish the sorting of your household into nine different recycling bins for the energy and waste for just throwing it away?

My point is, environmental responsibility is less about recycling and more about sustainability.

I have tossed away more junk in the last ten years than I care to think about. Most of it because when it stopped working there was no way (or no sense) in fixing it so I don't reuse it.

Plastic bottles get taken away, transported around ground up, heated and made into other things, but at a level lower like pillows or purses, not bottles again. Keeping them and using them as containers again around the house will give me all sorts of cancers, so I don't reuse them either like I would a glass bottle.

Give me durability and re-usability. Mcmansions, houses with movie set front entrances yet built out of drywall and studs and so called palaces are not destined to stand for three hundred years like the real Versailles let alone a thousand or more. Not like the Torre de Hercules.

It's time we started thinking about building things that will continue to serve their purpose without needing replacement. Planned obsolescence is as outdated as the winner having the most toys.

Nissan Leaf Electric Gets Equivalent of 99 Miles per Gallon, but...

Here is the window sticker that will be on the new Nissan Leaf EV.

Please note the range, 73 miles?!...I ask,

Would you pay $32, 780 USD for a car that gets almost one hundred miles per gallon, but has only a three-quarter gallon tank that takes seven hours to fill?

Compare that with a Chevy Cruze that gets sixty one miles to a gallon, has a range of more than five hundred miles and costs around $15,000.

Consider also the following, that 73 mile range drops to 47-61 miles in winter or stop and go traffic, making the "gas tank" effectively 1/2 gallon. Even with US federal incentives bringing the cost down to around $26K, (battery charger sold separately $2,200,00 USD) and according to Nissan, "Your home charging dock will need to be installed by a professional electrician. But first, we will assist you with a home assessment which will help identify what is needed to make your home Nissan LEAF ready", .this is not looking so good for my pocket...screw the environment.

Wait a minute, I think I mean save the environment...and my pocket book. In 5-10 years you will have to purchase a new battery at a cost of close to $18,000.00 and arrange for the environmental disposal of the old one.

What about the value of it as a used vehicle? I can't imagine considering a vehicle purchase if I know an $18,000.00 lump sum expense is looming in the next short year or three.

I am not an environmentally unfriendly guy...I have, unlike Al Gore and friends, made changes in my life to not only reduce my 'carbon footprint' (most of you know that I sold my car and cycle 90% of the time or more) but also to save my own resources. I do not buy carbon credits...that's retarded thinking.

In the last 18 months I have purchased only $80 in gasoline for my motorcycles for longer trips and use public transportation other times, so I do have a place to stand and speak.

Alternative technologies have their place...the decision is yours in the end. Do the right thing.

You have to ask me before you touch me or it's assault.

Eight years ago the more outspoken of the duo Penn and Teller had this experience at airport security.

DrudgeReport.com on Nov. 13, 2002.

It started with a beep as he was going through a security checkpoint. He was moved to another line, where he "assumed the position" as a security staffer began a hand check.

"He reached around while he was behind me and grabbed around my front pocket," wrote Jillette. "I guess he was going for my flashlight, but the area could have loosely been called 'crotch.' I said, 'You have to ask me before you touch me or it's assault.' "

The security officer responded, "Once you cross that line, I can do whatever I want," according to Jillette.

"I said that wasn't true. I say that I have the option of saying no and not flying. He said, 'Are you going to let me search you, or do I just throw you out?'"

Jillette said he told him to "Finish up, and then call the police please."

After passing the search, he was told he could continue to his flight.

Jillette informed the security officer that he had been "assaulted" and repeated his request to call a cop.

When a Metro officer showed up, he recognized Jillette, and, it turns out, he's a "big" Penn & Teller fan, wrote Jillette.

Jillette told his story to the cop, who informed security that touching a citizen's private area without permission is crossing the line.

Jillette corrected him, saying there was no contact with his genitals.

"I don't care," said the cop, "you can't do that to people. That's assault and battery in my book."

Jillette concluded: "my advice to everyone is complain all you can and call the cops."

A Football Prayer

Our QB, who art in Calgary, Darian be thy name.
Thy will be done, the game be won, in McMahon as it was in Taylor.
Give us 1st downs, no interceptions, as we rally against those who intercept us.
Lead us into the end zone, field goals delivered through the uprights.
For green is the colour, football is the game,
forever and ever until Grey's chalice is held.
GO RIDERS!!!!!!!!!!

Don't Worry, He's a Professional.

Passing the shooter bar, I was called over by a couple of nice looking and well dressed young ladies who were involved in a discussion over who had the nicer set of boobs.

One of them reached out and grabbed both my hands, placing them square on her tig 'ol bitties, saying, "Nice aren't they?".

Before I could respond I felt a tap on my shoulder from a man identifying himself as her husband...ever had your life flash before your eyes?

I did. Right there.

Calmly she told her hubby, "It's ok dear, he works here...he's a professional." and he was good with that. "She saved my life", I thought to myself so I bought all three of them drinks and went back to work.

Touch My Junk.

Sometimes, in a nightclub setting, things can get weird.

Add a little alcohol to stupid and...well.

Mumbling something about her husband and a broken window, I caught the word asshole over the music. She had already had a couple or nine drinks, told me she was out of money and asked me to buy her a drink. Not wanting to further contribute to her train wreck, I politely declined and turned back to the business at hand of mixing music.

Angrily, she yelled at me, "Don't you understand that I will give you a blowjob for a drink?!". I told her I was good, joking that I'd had one earlier and again turned back to the soundboard.

Mixing music is a full contact thing for me when I'm in the zone...both hands are pretty much in use all the time, I'm concentrating on the beat and in a hip hop nightclub it's not unusual to have ladies on stage dancing and grindin' so when she tucked in behind me and started to to shake her groove thing it was no big thing at first, but she became increasingly annoying and since she was already drunk and had no money I decided that I'd have her removed.

The doormen were all laughing at the drunken mess she was and unknown to me were quite relishing in the fact that they had convinced her to target me as her "get back at her old man sex partner" so when I looked across the bar at them they simply shrugged and smiled.

With a deft motion and incredible speed she reached around undid my fly and pulled a TSA screener on me. No back of the hand here, this was a full-on package grab, I quickly removed her hand and re-zipped my fly, telling her not to touch me there. This apparently offended her deeply as she broke immediately into tears and ran out the front door.

The doorman outside told me she was arrested some blocks away after she jumped into her car, bounced off a moving pickup truck in full view of a nearby cop.

Shotgun Bang. What`s up with that thang?

I've been a DJ for a long time. First song I ever spun in public was the original vinyl of Kenny Rogers' , 'The Gambler'..the week it was released .

Since then I've had a mike at my lips and music at my fingertips every week, I've MC'd just about every kind of event and venue you can think of and have run across many interesting characters along the way.

In this series of posts I'm going to share some stories of things I've seen over the years. Not so much for you to read but more for me to record.

Names have been changed...the details have not. Some of these stories will probably not be suitable for children.

That said..on with the show.

As the guests began to arrive at the hall it became apparent quite quickly that this reception had the look of a pretty conventional country wedding dance. Lots of WASPs wearing cowboy hats. There wasn't much penetration of any other ethnic groups into the prairies yet.

As I settled in I checked the gig sheet once more just to be sure of the details, this was a standby gig for me, I had been called in to fill in for a sick colleague and hadn't met any of the principal players and wouldn't have the chance before the first dance. My first cold start.

Kravchuk/Selome wedding. 9PM -1AM.

First dance selection: `Islands in the Stream`, a good country tune at the top of the charts.

Limos arrive and I can see the bridal party through the window...just a bit through the trees. More cowboy hats. Wranglers. Looking like a rancher`s party to be sure.

A man wearing a cowboy hat approaches and he does not look happy. Envelope in hand, he introduces himself as the father of the bride and explains that he`ll be paying the balance right away. Probably why he looks grumpy, an expensive day for him. He also tells me that the groom`s parents will not be attending but offers up no explanation as to why and leaves abruptly, still looking unhappy...maybe even angry. This bothers me because I don`t know why and think to myself that it could be the last minute substitution of the DJ...not a good way to begin a party.

As the bridal party turned the corner, I realized it was not me that was the cause of dad`s discontent. One skinny Ethiopian man in a sea of rednecks standing next to a very pregnant bride.

I don`t think there was actually a shotgun on the premises, but there were rifle racks in a lot of those pickup trucks in the parking lot.

The Honor of His Company

Tim Hetherington spotlights Salvatore Giunta, who has been awarded the Medal of Honor for his bravery in Afghanistan.

By Tim Hetherington

December 2010 Vanity Fair

The Sal Giunta Story from SebastianJunger/TimHetherington on Vimeo.

In recounting that tragic day, Giunta is keen to remind me about his fellow soldiers. “Every single person that I’ve been with deserves to wear it, deserves to . . .They are just as much of me as I am. This isn’t a one-man show.” He's asked about the medal, which President Obama presented to him at the White House on November 16. “It sounds really awesome in theory, but what’s it worth—Brennan? Mendoza?”

See a video of Giunta at “Restrepo, The Movie.” “Restrepo” has its world television premiere on the National Geographic Channel, unedited and with limited commercial interruption, on Monday, November 29, 2010, at nine p.m. ET/PT.

Fundraisers, Trust Me

I've been stewing on this one for a couple of weeks now and have to get it off my chest.

Fundraisers, steak nights and suppers and the like. I don't mind at all shelling out twenty or twenty five dollars for a ten dollar meal meal once in a while if the money being raised is going to a good cause...but please...don't overdo it.

I've donated to and assisted in many charitable efforts and will continue to, when and if I feel that the cause warrants it.

Recently I was invited to a "Confidential ***** Supper" fund raiser, a twenty dollar ticket with the monies raised going to a mystery beneficiary, touted as a "great cause". The only way to find out where the profits were going was to give them the twenty bucks and attend the event for the "big reveal".

Without even thinking about it, I dismissed the offer and put my twenty in the "Movember" donation slot. I mean really...asking me to donate my hard earned money to assist in something you won't tell me about until after you have my cash in hand?! Yeah...no.

Shortly after, I got an e-mail from one of the organizers encouraging me to attend and use my Facebook connections to spread the word to increase attendance.

In this e-mail the mystery beneficiary was revealed to me under the condition that I tell no one and even though it feels some days that no one ever reads this, I know some of you occasionally do, so to preserve my integrity I will not break that confidence here.

I will, however, tell you that now that I know where the profits (I use the word "profits" deliberately instead of "funds") are going, I will still not be attending.

I repeat. I will not be attending because I know whose pockets my "donation" will be lining.

Once again, to keep my personal integrity intact, I won't say who it is...but I will say who it is not.

It is not a charity, an organization or a family in need of shelter and medical. The money is not going to CF or MS research, it is not going into a donation slot or kettle..but a pocket.

Only my opinion, but I think that a few people (if not more) will be disappointed (if not down right angry) when the reveal comes and they find out they have been fleeced.

I point to one Facebook wall post from a guy who guessed right:

"If the money was for **** I would pay extra to have it NOT go to ****... Just Don't."

I know that if certain individuals read this they will be very angry with me for posting it, but I'm doing it with your best interest at heart. As one of the original members of the family, my best unsolicited advice to you is to change your reveal before it's too late...pick a good charitable organization and donate the money there.

(if you are one of the angry individuals, get over it...don't make me come out these parentheses)

If you reveal your current beneficiary that night, I cannot see any good coming out of it.

The family's reputation in charitable giving already sucks. It did not follow through with a very publicly announced "pink" promotion and has had other smudges too....

Misunderestimated Education: Is our children learning?

The New Oxford American Dictionary today declared "refudiate" the top word in 2010 — a verb invented by Sarah Palin.

The former governor used the word in a Twitter message, calling on "peaceful Muslims" to "refudiate" a planned mosque near the site of the 9/11 attacks in New York. When critics pounced on the made-up verb, Palin deleted the Tweet and replaced it revising it to ask Muslims to "refute" the Mosque— another nonsensical statement, since to refute is to prove something to be untrue. Repudiate would have been a more fitting application of the language seeing that it means to refuse to have anything to do with or to refuse to accept. Then to defend her poor vocabulary she sent another tweet comparing herself to Shakespeare, no less.

But in a release today, the New Oxford American Dictionary defended Palin's ignorant use of the word. "From a strictly lexical interpretation of the different contexts in which Palin has used 'refudiate,' we have concluded that neither 'refute' nor 'repudiate' seems consistently precise, and that 'refudiate' more or less stands on its own, suggesting a general sense of 'reject,' " the New Oxford American Dictionary said in a press release. Bullshit...we did not need a new word for reject. Learn the proper use of the existing language.

I would have voted for:

nom nom (informal) exclamation an expression of delight when eating.

pl. noun (nom noms) delicious food.

verb (nom-nom) eat delicious food with obvious enjoyment.
adjective (nom-nommy) descriptive of delicious food.
[origin — imitative; popularized by the noises made by the character Cookie Monster on Sesame Street (usually as “Om nom nom nom”)]

Call of Duty: Black Ops Etiquette Tips

Some helpful tips and etiquette for online play that should be included in the manual of the "Game of the Year" edition. Enjoy!

• Primary weapons are only used by homosexuals. Why bother trying to master a rifle when secondary weapons offer rocket launchers that eliminate the need for accuracy and skill.
  
  
• Secondary weapons are clearly best. As the old adage goes: First the worst, second the best, third the nerd with the 62% accuracy and 17.89 kill/death ratio.
  
  
• Akimbo is a German word that means "win." Always shoot from the hip, it was good enough for Rambo.
  
  
• Even though the action is fast-paced and exhilarating, take the time to remind everyone how "close" you were to getting the "Attack Dog" killstreak reward. Explain that you just needed 2 more kills (and 38 less deaths, but that's not relevant information).
  
  
• Diving into prone (sometimes confused with skill) is a bug that will be fixed in the next patch. Anyone who uses the ability is a hacker; stop exploiting the game mechanics.
  
  
• Keep in mind that anyone who isn't constantly running, jumping, and spinning is a camper.
  
  
• Yell at anyone using a sniper rifle. If you are in the prone position you are cheating.
  
  
• If you are unfortunate enough to have a sniper on your team, try stabbing him to show your resentment for his being alive. (I use the male gender-specific pronoun because girls don't play COD. Screaming 8-year-old boys [a.k.a. N00Bs] can sometimes be confused for females talking because the longitudinal sound waves produced by air passing through their vocal chords are identical.)
  
  
• There are literally hundreds of perk combinations to choose from. Save time experimenting by picking the best ones: Lightweight Pro, Steady Aim Pro, and Marathon Pro.
  
  
• Kill cams are for losers. Skip them to get back in the action faster. Voice complaints about the same guy killing you the entire game.
• If you are what the law would consider an adult, be sure to yell at prepubescent children. Name calling is the best medium to display your intellectual superiority and to teach them respect and maturity. May I suggest using the words bitch, fag, homo, gay, smelly stupid face, and Bolshevik to add some much needed color to otherwise dull internet harassment.
  
  
• If someone is better than you at the game, you should threaten to "kick their fucking ass" in real life. Nothing says tough bad ass like internet anonymity.
  
  
• Last and least, if you are the subject (victim) of a game-winning kill cam, call the kill "cheap, lame, lucky, bullshit, retarded." Verbal abuses will keep you warm during those times you are lost in a blizzard of embarrassment.

BK Breakfast Platter: Reviewed.

Burger King Breakfast platter. Looked good in the picture.

Everything was disappointing.

Served with cold toast and rubber hash browns, I'm not even sure they were real eggs, they were so dry, tasteless and broken into such tiny pieces they might as well have been powdered. Adding ketchup as a binder did not help much.

What that brown thing was I'm not quite sure, but by process of elimination it must have been the sausage patty. Was is stored in vinegar I wonder?

Thirty minutes after consuming this, my mouth is left with a lingering aftertaste that I can only describe as "plastic" or "paint" maybe?

Chief, band in election standoff; Members block bridge in dispute over extended term

Adam McDowell, National Post, November 2, 2010

A Southern Alberta native chief has cancelled a band election set for next month, extending his term by two years and provoking a protest blockade of the road into a reserve west of Calgary.

Residents of the Eden Valley Reserve set up a peaceful blockade of the bridge leading into the community last week, angered by an Oct. 14 band council resolution that would extend the term of David Bearspaw as Chief of the Bearspaw First Nation until 2012. The blockade was intended to prevent band administrators from entering or leaving.

One protester's sign read, "Under custom if a Stoney chief is asked to step down --then he must." The sign was a reminder of the frustrations felt by many people living on reserves about the ambiguous transparency requirements and lack of oversight expected of their chiefs and councils under the Indian Act.

"It's very vague on election procedures, really," said Joseph Quesnel, an analyst of First Nations issues at the Frontier Centre for Public Policy, a Winnipeg-based think-tank.

According to reports, the protesters refuse to move aside unless they get an election next month as planned. Mr. Bearspaw's term as Chief of the Bearspaw branch of the Stoney Nakoda tribe was set to end on Dec. 6.

Staff of the Stoney Nakoda First Nation did not return the Post's requests for an interview with Chief Bearspaw yesterday. In an interview with the CBC, he said he needs two extra years to fix local problems of crime, poverty and substance abuse.

He also announced measures intended to fight corruption at the leadership level, including mandatory drug and alcohol tests for council members. He suspected some of them had used band money to go on drinking and gambling trips.

"I feel [that accountability] has to start from the top," he told the CBC. "There has to be good leadership, good accountability, good role model."

Meanwhile, the reported two dozen protesters blocking the road into Eden Valley told reporters that the Bearspaw First Nation has been making decisions behind closed doors. "There was never a proper band meeting held and they never informed the people," one protester told the CBC.

The Western Wheel of Okotoks, Alta., reported that only 427 of 800 people returned a summertime survey on the proposed changes to band council. And of those, only 172, or 41% of respondents, agreed to an extension of the chief's term to four years from two years while another 16% supported an extension to three years.

Like 337 other First Nations in Canada, or 55% of the total, Bearspaw First Nation follows a "custom election code." These are designed at the local level and not policed by the Indian Act. Custom election codes leave no room for outside intervention or resolution in the case of a dispute, other than through the courts.

A spokeswoman for Indian and Northern Affairs confirmed yesterday that her department did not have the authority to intervene in the local dispute.

"It's a completely internal matter, so we won't be intervening in any way. Bearspaw First Nation is under a custom elections code, we have no jurisdiction," said Chantal Patenaude.

"Custom elections are kind of a double-edged sword. They're good because it's freedom from the Indian Act, it allows [bands] to choose leadership that's based on a local, lived reality. But the problem is you get people who are changing [rules], and Indian Affairs can't intervene at that point," said Mr. Quesnel.

The Bearspaw First Nation is a subgroup of the Stoney Nakoda First Nation. Three groups within the Stoney Nakoda -- the Bearspaw, Chiniki and Wesley First Nations -- share the Eden Valley Reserve.

http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/Reserve+blockaded+after+chief+cancels+vote/3761615/story.html

Adam McDowell