The Egyptian language wasn't all emojis all the time
The Egyptians had a cursive alphabet and a written language long before Hieroglyphics were invented, they used it to write contracts and history, sacred texts and clearly written instructions for doing amazing things like building pyramids and shit.
Then one day along comes some asshole with the first Hieroglyph, the very first emoji.
That was the beginning of the downfall of Egyptian civilization. Their use exploded onto the scene, new glyphs being issued every few months so people could dumb themselves down even further with cute combinations like an owl and a bee and an hourglass when they were going to be a couple of days late for some circumcision ceremony or something.
After that it was all downhill for the Egyptians...only the smart people continued to use cursive written language, and they ended up leaving Egypt to open up bagel shops and diamond cutting businesses around the world. Only the emoji zombies remained and they didn't understand the history and carefully written instructions left for them detailing how to maintain the equipment.
Thousands of years of carefully planned societal order gone to waste just because some low brow son of an Egyptian slave couldn't find the time or creativity to craft a well worded love letter to that hot little slave girl down the Euphrates and sent her a picture of his snake instead.
We’re heading back to ancient Egyptian times...next stop the stone age, and we are going there with a big yellow smiley grin on our faces.
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