Slow night at the club, so I am blogging. Just stream of consciousness stuff, like why do people request songs then dance for sixty seconds or so and walk off the dance floor texting? Or wait until the song has like thirty seconds left before they get up and dance?That girl on the dance floor, that one over there, told me earlier that she just wants to get laid tonight and I'm wondering if that guy she's dancing with knows this. Hmm, he must not be capturing her attention, she just walked off the dance floor texting. Two minutes have passed, she's on the dance floor again, grinding to Salt n' Pepa's "Let's Talk About Sex"...I wonder if I play "Pony" what she'll do. Let's try....she's got no rhythm but still providing him a full on ass grind.
Here's another question...why do you request the same song over and over at a club?
Granted, Serani's "No Games" is a good tune but if you want to listen to it over and over and over get a friggin' Ipod.
Ok now I've got two blackout drunk fags making out on the floor, don't misunderstand, I have nothing against "flexisexuals" but please...if I wanted to see Freddy Mercury tongue kissing John Madden, I'd be googling gay porn. Pass the eye bleach.
Girl runs up to the DJ booth, asks me, "Do you have a garbage can?" as she pulls her gum out of her mouth, "Sorry, no.", I reply. She holds her gum out in her outstretched hand, apparently expecting me to take it from her, I shake my head and she walks away. In the background Freddie and John are getting thrown out and I can see a guy over there that has decided to "go ugly early". But...looking at him I'm thinking, "Trust me, dude, GO UGLY EARLY, or you'll die alone with your pants around your ankles, clutching your shriveled dick in your cold, dead hand"
Another random comes up to the booth, she's been here all night, and requests a song that I played five minutes ago. Better I guess than the last one who requested the song that was currently playing. I tell her I may play it again later so she requests another and sits with her fat ass securely planted in her chair when I play it. It's called a dance club for a reason.
Another episode of short attention span theater, this girl has been asking for "Like a G6" all night so I threw it in the mix for her...hit the dance floor for like thirty five seconds and walked off texting. I want to put a cell phone jammer in here. Is it just me or does it show a little social ineptitude to be out with your friends and ignore them while staring into a 2.5" screen? A snapshot of the club right now shows 35% of the people are doing it.
Madden is back and he brought Freddy back with him...how did they get back in? John is hitting on the fat ass random chick now and the other half of the "Village People" doesn't look too pleased with him.
Fat ass turfs Madden comes over to make another request, I play it right away and she bops to it all the way to the door...fat bitch is going for a smoke...I should stop the song 'til she gets back.
Blackout Freddy is mackin' on a girl now too and she is having none of it...take the hint buddy or you will be leaving the hard fast way.
I've stopped playing requests now...f*ck'em...when I play what they want they aren't dancing but when I play what I know they are...throw down a little Mary J. Blige and instant dance floor. Here comes a request...I'm looking at a full dance floor and she says, "Play something we can dance to, you know, something with a beat.". You have got to be kidding, but I know she's not, I hear that one just about every night.
Nice...Freddy and Johnny kissed and made up. Get laid girl...did. Looks like go ugly guy is making out quite well. Fat bitch is eating deep fried pork.
Happy endings all around.
