Why Did I Open the Door?

I don’t open doors, or practice other acts of chivalry towards women because I look at them and think: ‘geez, she looks like a frail weakling incapable of scaling the great heights of masculine awesomeness which gives us the muscular strength that females lack for door opening prowess. I better open this door for her before her poor tiny confused female brain makes her cry because it can’t figure out the engineering dynamics of door opening.’

No, instead when I look at women I see the feminine genius. A genius so profoundly complex, important and valuable that I adore it. I adore the feminine genius because I am a real man who has not had his masculine awareness dulled by erroneous ideologies about gender, or seriously messed up by pornography-fueled predatory attitudes towards women.

As a real man I know that for my masculinity to scale the heights of greatness, I depend totally on the feminine genius to become the best that a man can ever be – in much the same way that I depend on oxygen to keep on living.

Without the complimentary and amazing feminine genius I can never be a real man. Instead I am doomed to be nothing more than the masculine equivalent of a rōnin – the Japanese name for a samurai without a master to lead him, a term which literally means “wave man” because he is adrift without direction and purpose.

I open doors for women because I know they deserve my profound adoration and selfless love. My tiny act of sacrifice is my way of saying ‘I am in awe of your feminine genius and all that I owe to it as a man’.

Any man who tries to tell you to stop opening doors for women is unvirtuous and selfish – he is not a real man. Do not listen to him.

Any person who tells you that opening doors for women makes you a hater or belittler of women and femininity is tragically confused and desperately out of touch with reality.

Ladies, not only do you have every right to expect such respect and selflessness from the men who encounter your presence, but you should be extremely worried by any person lobbying for a world where men walk past women with a blind ignorance to your female greatness.

Such a world would be a truly scary place, and definitely not the world I would want my daughters to grow up in – their feminine genius deserves far better than cold indifference.
-Brendan Malone

Oil

If you drove to protest oil or it's movement, your argument is invalid.

Holy Drama! So sick of it!!!

The title of this post is the first Facebook post in my friend's latest bout of social media diarrhea. Over the past 12 days there have been over 25 posts that tell me otherwise. Apparently you feed on fucking drama.
"Holy drama! So sick of it!!!"
(With a title like that, I'm thinking this one is gonna be good, so I'll watch it unfold)

"So tired. Can't sleep. Too much on my mind."
(Followed by three more I can't sleep posts...no wonder...the light from your phone must be blinding at 3am)

"There's another holiday that didn't work out."
(Vague booking at its finest, but nobody commented. Too bad for your ego.)

"Love people who treat you right"
"It's confirmed. I'm just a maid."
(Followed by 10 internet memes on the same theme, passive aggressive much?)

"My BF (BF tagged here) is 10 times better than the rest!!!"
(No pressure, fella)

"Would he miss me if I disappeared?"
(Just pathetic)

"It's official. I'm done!!!"
"My give a damn is broken!!"
(Damn, is the show over already?)

"Don't push a loyal person to the point that they don't care."
(Ahhhh, possible redemption. Pass the popcorn)

"Be with someone who doesn't stress you."
(This is a problem you can solve without Facebook but go on...)

"I feel unwanted"
(Poor pitiful you, why would anyone besides a Kardashian want their  love life played out for the world to see? I thought you were suck of the drama. Pass the peanuts.)

"Treat me the way I deserve to be treated."
(You just keep holding that lightbulb, the world revolves around you so eventually it will get screwed in if you just stand there.)

"No emotions left. Nothing!!!"
(I bet that's not true. I'm betting a new bucket of popcorn on it.)

"Barely slept. It's gonna be a long day."
(Who needs Coronation Street?)

Some days

I have been careful not to have by children. It's not that I don't like kids, it's just because I have never met my kids mom yet. Well, maybe I have met her, but I haven't slept with her yet. Some days though, I think it may have been worth it to have a child, even out of "wedlock". Maybe the drama that surrounds that is worth it in the long run...some days I wish I had a kid of my own. Maybe that sounds selfish, like I don't have the kids best interest at heart...and that is why I don't have kids...I only want a child that has two full time parents, committed to the family.
I wish I had a child.